A new sign in the bank reads:
'Please note that this bank is installing new drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your sex.'
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MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the ATM.
2. LOWER your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Raise window.
7. Drive off.
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FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to ATM machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Put hand brake on; put the window down.
4. Find handbag; remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on mobile 'phone that you will call her/him back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine because of its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in cheque book and place receipt in the back of it.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward two feet.
20. Reverse to ATM machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card
holder and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give finger to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and drive off.
25. Redial person on mobile phone.
26. Drive for two to three kilometres.
27. Release hand brake.
“Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are always asking, "What's in it for me?"”
Brian Tracy
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