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A web page dedicated to reviews on good products and exposing the scams. And also any good jokes I find :-)
Monday, November 7, 2011
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Wednesday, October 26, 2011
The Royal letter
In light of your immediate failure to financially manage yourselves and also in recent years your tendency to elect incompetent Presidents of the USA and therefore not able to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas , which she does not fancy).
Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated sometime next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.'Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary'). (I love that one)
Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.' ' (I love that one too)
3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.
5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.)
8.You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. New Zealand beer is also acceptable, as New Zealand is pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
11. You will cease playing American football. There are only two kinds of proper football; one you call soccer, and rugby (dominated by the New Zealanders). Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America . Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians (World dominators) first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Aussie Bloke Etiquette
1. Never take an open stubby to a job interview...
2. Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting at them.
3. It's tacky to take an Esky to church
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you're certain you're included in the will, it's rude to take your Ute and trailer to the funeral.
Eating Out:
1. When decanting wine from the box, tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to bruise the wine.
2. If drinking directly from the bottle, hold it with only one hand.
Entertaining at Home:
1. A centrepiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist..
2. Don't allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners.
Personal Hygiene:
1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this should be done in private, using one's OWN Ute keys.
2. Even if you live alone, deodorant isn't a waste of money.
3. Extensive use of deodorant can only delay bathing by a few days.
4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a no-no, it alters the taste of finger foods and if you are a woman it can draw attention away from your jewellery.
Theatre/Cinema Etiquette:
1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up after the movie ends.
2. Refrain from yelling abuse at characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.
Weddings:
1. Livestock is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A tracksuit with a cummerbund and a clean football jumper can create a tacky appearance.
3. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for the occasion.
Driving Etiquette:
1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if your guns loaded and the roo's in your rifle sight.
2. When entering a roundabout, the vehicle with the largest roo bar doesn't always have the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4. When sending your wife down the road with a petrol can,
it's impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Common Sense posts
Common Sense posts: introduction
Written by PhilippeOn a social network, I just saw someone posting what I consider a very depressing thought. The first idea that came to mind was to suggest that the person become a sales person for the company selling Prozac. It wouldn’t have been nice to respond such a thing, so I refrained from doing it.
Instead, it inspired me to start a series of posts on my blog about common sense. I heard this many years ago:
“Common sense isn’t common”
Read more at: http://philippemoisan.net/2011/08/21/common-sense-posts-introduction/
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Friday, August 12, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
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Thursday, July 14, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Biz University Forums Review by salim
A brand new forum, lots of useful goodies for your business.
I recommend jumping in and getting yourself known.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Collect Hourly Advertising Payments Hands FREE!
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Ready to Become Thin and healthy Again?
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Put on a happy face and smile at life!
Many people seek happiness the wrong way. Either they think there’s nothing they can do against external circumstances, or they just sit there and wait for
You create your own happiness, and it depends solely on You. The first thing you have to do is decide what you want to do with your life, and set at least one goal for yourself.
It doesn’t matter whether you set material or spiritual goals. What does matter is that you have a direction to follow. Once you determine what your goals are,
Do everything you can to move forward with your plans. Think, speak and act in
Don’t wait for events to become favorable, or for other people to come along
Don’t wait for life to start smiling at you.
Are your fears holding you back or are you using them to move you forward ?
Your fears can actually lead you to success. Fear is an intense emotion.
Are you waiting for things to get better before moving ahead ?
If you're serious about success, you need to start taking action today.
If you're waiting for things to be perfect, you'll wait forever and nothing will
The way to achieve is to bloom where you're planted, to do what you can,
Take a chance. Have faith in yourself. Your circumstances will improve when
Take Action Today.
from Life is often merely the WILL to TRY it and the FAITH to
BELIEVE that it is possible." - Zig Ziglar
Saturday, June 4, 2011
How To Get Links For Your Website | APSense Articles Directory
(Extract from the APsense Article)
Image links; Search engines can’t read images. So, if you’re linking with an image (as with a navigation button), use “alt” text to describe the web-page the image leads to. An image tag might read something like this:
>img src=”/images/articles/books.gif” alt=”Voda Books”>
Another example of image links this site’s navigation menu above. (They’re images meant to look like text.)
External Links are those to other websites. Link out to quality websites similar to your own. What will be helpful to your visitors? Don’t link to spammy websites, link farms, or what Google calls “bad neighborhoods,” because links to these type of sites can hurt you. Be very selective in your links.
SO, HOW DO I GET LINKS?
Social Networking; This is an absolutely beautiful way to get links. Check out the below articles for full details (way more info than I could put here):
Social Bookmarking and why you need it
Friday, May 27, 2011
What is FOREX?
Click the image below
Saturday, March 5, 2011
One day a man decided to retire....
He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.
He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.
After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In disbelief, he asks, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"
She replies, "I rowed over from the other side of the island where I landed when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing," he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you."
"Oh, this thing?" explains the woman. "I made the boat out of some raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm tree branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."
"But, where did you get the tools?"
"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron I used that to make tools and used the tools to make the hardware."
The guy is stunned.
"Let's row over to my place," she says. So, after a short time of rowing, she soon docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a long stone walk leading to an cabin and treehouse. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down, please."
"Would you like a drink?"
"No! No thank you," the man blurts out, still dazed.. "I can't take another drop of coconut juice."
"It's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How would you like a Tropical Spritz?"
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they exchange their individual survival stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There's a razor in the bathroom cabinet upstairs."
No longer questioning anything, the man goes upstairs into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet is a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism.
"This woman is amazing," he muses. "What's next?" When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but some small flowers on tiny vines, each strategically positioned, she smelled faintly of gardenias. She then beckons for him to sit down next to her.
"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've both been out here for many months. You must have been lonely. There's something I'm certain you feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for, right?" She stares into his eyes.
He can't believe what he's hearing. "You mean..." he swallows excitedly as tears start to form in his eyes,
"You've built a Golf Course ?"
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
Traffic Delivers is having it`s first Birthday.
TRAFFICDELIVERS A TRAFFIC EXCHANGE EXTRAORDINAIRE ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY PARTY FEB 12-14 INCREDIBLE OTO SAVINGS UPGRADE SPECIALS TRAFFIC SPECIALS CASH PRIZES DAILY SURFING AND REFERRAL CONTEST |
Thursday, January 27, 2011
TrafficDelivers � My Review.
In the last few years I have been using Auto Text Ad exchanges and List Building sites but I never really had anything much to do with Manual traffic exchanges (with the exception of APsense Traffic), and tended to shy away from them, that was until I joined Instant Blog Subscribers and ran a cross Doug.
Most IBS members would recognize this smiling face.
Since I have been a member of TrafficDelivers, I ve realized that there s a whole heap of traffic I ve been missing not using Manual traffic exchanges, and I ve found surfing at TrafficDelivers a little more than addictive :-)
Now I am a member of a number of Manual Traffic Exchanges, for example Freedom Traffic and 247Traffic Pro, but TrafficDelivers in my opinion outshines them all.
Not only because over 5200 members means lots of eyeballs on your sites, but because of the exemplary management by the Admin and the incentives to surf thrown in on a very regular basis.
Doug is an experienced marketer, so he knows what is needed to keep the traffic flowing. And as an Admin, let me say. I am located in Australia and Surf at all odd times, but whenever I have a problem, Doug responds very promptly, which poses the serious question, does this man ever sleep?
Is TrafficDelivers even worth joining you ask?
Walter Bayliss thinks so
Kenneth Kraakstad thinks so
Mathew Graves thinks so
Marty Petrizza Thinks so
Anyone who s been around a bit on the internet would recognize these names. They all liked TrafficDelivers so much that not only do they endorse it, they donated over $2000.00 of advertising to the OTO.
Whether you Are a 1st time Newbie, Struggling Marketer, Seasoned Professional, Sensationally Successful Guru or Just Curious then ..
TrafficDelivers will fill your needs with the Perfect Level of Service!
*Full Page Displays
*Banner Ads
*Text Ads
*Email Promotions
*100 Credits Early Activation*Bonus!
*1:1 Surf Ratio Available without Upgrading!
According to Tim Linden\'s trafficexchangelist, TrafficDelivers has gone to 47th place in just a few months and I m sure with the outstanding membership and management this site has, it will go much higher.
If you aren t a member already, I highly recommend signing up, checking out the OTO and getting your Ads circulating.
If you are a member already, lets support TrafficDelivers and make it the best damn site in the whole world.
(And remember to Add your TrafficDelivers referral link to your IBS Downline Builder)
Regards,
Ian B.
On a related note:
If you haven t seen it yet, Coach Gina has published a great video entitled AD mistakes Most Everyone Makes on her IBS page.
I d highly recommend having a look at this page and watching the video.
Older Posts of Note
TE spotlight - Tazmania Ads and AtoZ Ads - the Review.
Affiliate Adventure / AD exchange Tips Page
A Critique of TEXT ADS PARTY site
A critique on LIST INSOMNIA site.
Freedom Traffic
247 Traffic Pro
you will command the attention of the world.
George Washington Carver
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Coach Gina - Ad Mistakes Most Everyone Makes - http://instantblogsubscribers.com/vip/pgteam
The Video posted by Gina on her blog should definitely be viewed by anyone into onlinr marketing / advertising as it shows all the basic mistakes that affect your Advertising responsiveness.
Highly Recommended.
Monday, January 24, 2011
2011 Yearly Video Horoscopes
So, in case you don’t already know about it, I thought I’d send you this link
to Jonathan Cainer’s horoscope site:
http://www.cainer.com/yearlyvideo/
I find his daily zodiac forecasts very accurate, helpful and inspiring.
I suspect you will too.
Let me know what you think....
PS Don't forget to bookmark it!
http://www.cainer.com/yearlyvideo/