The cuckoo clock

Jill was invited out for a night with the girls. She told her husband that she would be home by midnight, “I promise!”

Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 AM, a bit worse for wear, Jill headed for home.
Just as she got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing her husband would probably wake up, she “cuckooed” another 9 times.
Jill was really proud of herself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him.
(Even when totally smashed she knew 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT!)
The next morning Jill’s husband asked, “What time did you get in?”
“Midnight” said Jill. He didn’t seem concerned at all. Whew! Got away with that one!
Then he said, “We need a new cuckoo clock.”
When she asked him why, he said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then it said, “Oh ****.” cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, then tripped over the coffee table and farted.